Poem #6

Stone in My Chest

This heart of mine
is not able to love someone else
seems like it was made
only to love you
and to be loved by you
no matter bow hard I try
Or somebody else try
it won't open
they said think with my head
not the stone in my chest
but the heart wants what it want
sand it wants you
I want you.

- I am still waiting for you.

I LOVE YOU #1

I love you because of the way you make me smile

How can a person can make me smile even over tiny things? Hehehe you make me smile just by seeing your notifications. I am so madly, truly and honestly in love with you. You make me smile with your silly jokes. Sometimes memang hambar teruk but yeah you still make me laugh do. Seeing your name in my notifications excite me the most. I wish I can see you instead of just reading your messages.

But... it was all in the past. Your name still excite me but our situation is not the same anymore. You're with someone else, not me. I am just your past, and maybe someone that you pitied? I am still here, waiting for you. Because you're the only person I want to spend my life with forever.

Poem #5

His Scent, My Favourite


A man passed by with the fragrance that was once my favourite
My mind goes back to the moment when you were mine
Flashbacks of late night talks with silly jokes
Your scent overpowers my mind and captured my heart
The force of the fragrance will not let me forget
The smell that was once masculine and musky to me
Has now captured another heart and soul
The smell of your cologne reminds me of days gone by
Reminding me of how love can give you happiness and strength
Do I really like the scent? Or do I like the person with the scent?
Or is it the sweet memories of two fools that were once in love
Making the scent even more powerful?
I still remember the last time I met you
You're with different scent but the feel is still the same
I guess the scent wasn't really my favourite
It is you, my favourite thoughts to think about everyday
I should be thankful for everything
The thought of the scent is making me stronger everyday
As we've grown to strong, we can drift away from each others' paths
In journey to find our own happiness.

But that was just what I thought it should be
But the reality hits me harder when you're just in my mind
But you're not there in my life anymore
It is hard to forget someone who gave so much to remember
I'll need to accept the fact that you won't be real anymore
I just can have you, only in my dreams
Then I'd rather dream about you every nights
And daydream about you everyday
So that you'll always be there and never fade away
You are just like the unicorn....
MAGICAL! AND do exist! But only in my dream.

- still here.

Poem #4

In Each Every

Every morning when I wake up from sleep

You're the first thought in my mind

Imagining how it'd be to wake up right next to you.

Every night when I'm about to go to sleep

You're always the last thought that I want to think

Hoping that I will meet you again even if it is just a dream.

Everyday when I'm trying to live my life to the fullest

You're there in my mind

Playing the old memories over and over again.

Everything that I do to not think about you

You're still there in my mind

A place where you're not supposed to be.

No matter what I do, where I am, what time is it

You will always find a way to slip into my mind

You're THERE, you're HERE, you're EVERYWHERE

Just not in my life, anymore.

And that's why it hurts the most.

- a girl that can't be moved

Poem #3

MILK AND HONEY

I thought our love would last forever

But I forget each things have expiry date

Just like the milk get spoiled

That is how our love is

Stink, after certain time

I wished for the honey

Because honey don't come with expiry date

Which could last forever

But I forget how fucked up this world is

It's gonna be just in my dream

Every story does not end with "happily ever after"

Forever does not exist

So do you

Just like unicorn

Only in my dream.

- a girl that can't be moved

Poem #2

Moon and the Stars

You aim for the moon

But you met me

In the midst of the journey

Among the stars

You mistaken me as the moon

When you realise that

I'm just one of the many stars

You continue your journey

Why? Because you realise

You might lose the moon

While counting the stars

- a girl that can't be moved

Poem #1

A Line

Draw a line

So that I know where I can stay

Trying not to cross the line

be where I'm supposed to be

Watching you back so you don't get hurt

But if one day you ever feel alone

I'd sacrifice my soul to cross the line

To be closer to you

So that you know that you're never alone

I'm always by your side

Even when you're not paying attention

I'll always run to you

Even when you're not there anymore.

- a girl that can't be moved 

What is Love?

When you love someone, did you give your whole heart to that person? Because I once like that, I'm giving my heart to one person and it made me heartless now. It is not like I don't want to fall in love again but I just can;t trust anybody with my heart. I'm saving every pieces of my broken heart for the rightful one (read a husband).

If you really love someone, you won't force them to fall for you. Love comes at the most unexpected time. and if you love someone, you should give that person time and space to heal herself/himself. What I mean is, love can't be forced. It is a little bit complicated but... if you hold on to tight, you will destroy that person but if you let go too loose, you might loose that person. So.. the thing is.. making effort just enough would be fine to make them stay.

How do you know you love someone?For me, the things that he likes eventually become my favourite, every love songs remind me of him, I can't go through a day without thinking about him and many more. That is how I know that I love him.

But.. things do not end very well for. Me, the one who promised to stay, let go of his hand. I was such an ungrateful brat back then and until now I still am a brat. That was the stupidest decision I had ever made. If I could turn back the time, I know I won't change anything. Because that is how I am. A bitch. I won't change anything because every relationship will end either with a break up or marriage. Knowing me, a person who can't take things seriously, I'm afraid of that attachment. When things get too serious, I back off. Stupid me.

Until now, I'm not sure whether I already get over him or not. It has been two years and I'm still stuck in the past. Did I miss him? Or just the sweet memories? I don't know. Thank you for being a part of my journey. If it is meant to be it will be.